I was able to attend my Daughter, Madison, singing recital yesterday afternoon! It was great to get out and about, and she did AMAZING.
My daughter Paige is having her 26th Birthday today, and we will be taking the family out to dinner in Celebration! So that I don’t encourage my addiction, I will not attend, and instead meet up after at their home for gifts. They did have Hungry Bear Cookies for everyone, as it is my daughter’s favorite, but I was able to resist, instead opting for a Coke Zero over ice. It was great! I removed my wraps this morning as well, revealing what looked to be very skinny, and black legs. They are definitely in need of attention. That stated, they are not swollen any longer, and I can actually SEE my ankles again! WOW!! I am also walking with more open stride now, finding myself getting everywhere more quickly that the past few years. I had forgotten what real walking was like! I was able to also swim today in our pool! It was great! I am on my way to better health… and life. The program works!
Today’s FitBit Stats:
4950 Steps for 2.31 Miles and 3417 Calories burned. 3 Floors Climbed.
Last Night’s Sleep Recorded This Morning:
7 hour 24 min. Asleep last night, Awake X6, Restless X21
Food Schedule:
10AM – Chocolate Shake & 8 oz glass of water with Orange Fiber
12PM – Vanilla Shake
2PM – 1 Cinnamon Protein Bar & 8 oz glass of water with Orange Fiber
4PM – Vanilla Shake
6PM 1 packet Tomato Soup in 8 oz Water & 8 oz glass of water with Orange Fiber
7PM 12 oz Coke Zero over ice.
8PM – Chocolate Shake
Yesterday evening was a great mental challenge for me. I wanted food very badly. I am wondering if this is some sort of withdrawal thing? I believe I actually thought about food so much that I believed I was hungry, even though it has been proven on this program already that with what I intake via this program does not leave me so. I think this may be a good thing. Like all addiction… this must happen to rid ourselves of what we allowed ourselves to become dependent on. It happened when I was ridding myself of street drugs in my past… so this is no different. Oh.. I forgot to mention… yes.. I am a drug addict, and as such I keep myself in check everyday… and have done so for more than a few decades now. This will be no different.
One very interesting aspect of this journey is how I am not thirsty. Just three weeks ago if you found me without a 32oz drink in my hand, there would have been something wrong with me. I was drinking a lot! Many will remind me that this is a sign of Diabetes. I agree, and have been tested over and over again…. I was not even pre-diabetic in all tests given to me. That stated… I am at a loss as to why I am not thirsty now. I take in liquid all day with the shake and soup I intake, and I drink at least 3 eight oz. glasses of water, each with fiber in them. Does that account for not being thirsty? Every time I go to get my water…. I have to almost force it down. Hmmmmm… I will inquire at this coming week’s meeting.
Today’s FitBit Stats:
4647 Steps for 2.16 Miles and 3363 Calories burned. 2 Floors Climbed.
Last Night’s Sleep Recorded This Morning:
9 hour 17 min. Asleep last night, Awake X4, Restless X17
Food Schedule:
10AM – Vanilla Shake & 8 oz glass of water with Orange Fiber
12PM – Chocolate Shake
2PM – 1 Peppermint Cocoa Protein Bar & 8 oz glass of water with Orange Fiber
4PM – Vanilla Shake
6PM 1 packet Chicken Soup in 8 oz Water & 8 oz glass of water with Orange Fiber
8PM – Chocolate Shake
Calorie Intake for the day = 970
** My FitBit Report – Week of May 30 thru June 5, 2016
I am definitely having more issue with evening time with my ‘want’ of food. I hope that feeling goes away soon as when it hits, it takes all I have to remain steady. I wake in the morning full of energy, not hungry and looking forward to my day. I no longer drag myself from place to place… and I am not as winded as before. I forgot to mention that our group made team switches this last Thursday for the “walk across America” challenge we were given. You may view the progress posted a few days ago above this entry. I was on Team 3, and now I am part of the Stargazers. We shall CRUSH the competition! LOL… naaaa… it will be fun! I will be returning to my morning walks very soon…. possibly this coming week. One thing these FitBits do is calculate the floors climbed in one day. I am not sure how it is calculated as everything else it calculates is pretty much right on. However, I live in a two story house…. with 17 stairs. My office is upstairs, and the Kitchen is downstairs. Because I keep the food in the Kitchen, I force myself to go down and up those stairs for each meal… not including any other time. So when my FitBit calculates 1 floor… I am a bit puzzled as I have actually done 10 to 12 each day. My state of mind is pretty positive, yet I find myself looking forward to the day I can eat something again. That stated, I know now how valuable this program is, and I dare not waste it. It is my chance to gain my humanity back, and live to be with my family longer, and view all the wonderful things with them. Not to mention the great amount of Missionary work I may now accomplish in His great glory. This I am certain of.
I spoke to my friend again yesterday. He is in the same boat with me in my weight challenge, and his health is very bad. I have asked him again to look at this blog, and let him know I am here to help. Even so, I believe he is having trouble believing that HE can do it. He has two amazing boys that love food as well… and they are at that age where boys are ravenous in their growth…. so getting support from them in this is something I don’t believe he will receive from them. I state that even though I know they love him and wish him to succeed. They simply have no concept of his true issue, and don’t realize how important their involvement must be. He is a food addict like me. Addiction is difficult to deal with when everyone around you is doing what you are addicted to. If he could manage to do this with me for just one week…. he may be able to conquer it all on his own. I will call him again today.
It may read silly, but I have already begin planning my life, especially my diet that will remain in place for the rest of my life…. or until I am fed by another for whatever reason. My plan has actually two plans within it…. “Life Plan” and “Hardcore Plan”. My “Life Plan” includes meal replacement shakes throughout the day, as I plan to keep the intake every two hours as we have started in this program. Since I did this when I was younger in body building, I remember it’s great value in keeping the body burning calories. There may be one green salad for lunch, and one low calorie meal for dinner. There are prepared meals you can buy today that have a total of 250 calories. Then I plan on allowing for one extra special meal a week, that may indulge me from time to time. The trick there is to make sure it is only once a week. I will aim to give myself no more than 2000 to 2500 Calories per day (possibly with a burst on the indulge day to 3000). That, along with making sure I walk 5 miles per day…. and possibly weight training to keep fit. All of that will make sure that I am burning equal or more calories than I eat and drink. Needless to say I am ready to be fit again. That stated…. my fit weight is 200 pounds extremely lean. That, along with my muscles in any kind of larger than average size, due to my previous life, lean may be for me up to 225 pounds. So… I am placing a cap on my weight to be 230 pounds. Should I hit, or near that number each day, I will begin my “Hardcore Plan” of this exact program we are on now, until I am at that reasonable weight once again. Of course this may change as we still have 26 weeks left of the 30… or if I continue in the 72 week program…. well.. we shall see. In any case.. I plan to produce proper nutrition, and exercise until I can no longer do so. Hopefully the “Hardcore Plan” will be very rare. Never-the-less, I shall keep myself in check as I do now.
Today’s FitBit Stats:
2506 Steps for 1.17 Miles and 3046 Calories burned. 3 Floors Climbed.
Last Night’s Sleep Recorded This Morning:
8 hour 1 min. Asleep last night, Awake X1, Restless X17
Food Schedule:
10AM – Chocolate Shake & 8 oz glass of water with Orange Fiber
12PM – Vanilla Shake
2PM – 1 Cinnamon Protein Bar & 8 oz glass of water with Orange Fiber
4PM – Chocolate Shake
6PM 1 packet Tomato Soup in 8 oz Water & 8 oz glass of water with Orange Fiber
8PM – Vanilla Shake
I awakened today with great energy! I feel my time to start walking is very near, if not here already. I actually want to exercise! This is a feeling I had lost quite a while ago with lethargy, and lack of hope. I stand amazed at the miracle of what is happening. Something I must state as well…. the group of people going through this program, (including the Program Staff, Nurses and Doctors), are all amazing… and VERY supportive of each other! I believe this group was placed together for this reason…. and we are going through this great life change together for great purpose… perhaps to help others to know that it can be done. These people are great… and I know we will be life-long friends even after the program has completed. I wish I would have taken a photo of the group when we began. I believe we may have lost a few participants already, as there have been 1 or 2 empty seats. I will ask if I may take a group photo in this next meeting and weigh-in.
OH! Look at the photo below…. my legs as I woke this morning look almost normal!! Aside from the wraps, you definitely can see the difference in size. Just to let you know how large my left lower leg had gotten, take out a ruler. That is right…. the full ruler of 12 inches. Now measure that diameter into a circle, and there you have how large and round my leg was. I had feared it was not going to return to normal. Now I know I should have had more faith that I am on the path that will fix most of me.
Today’s FitBit Stats:
2282 Steps for 1.06 Miles and 2990 Calories burned. 1 Floors Climbed.
Last Night’s Sleep Recorded This Morning:
8 hour 12 min. Asleep last night, Awake X2, Restless X15
Food Schedule:
10AM – Vanilla Shake & 8 oz glass of water with Orange Fiber
12PM – Chocolate Shake
2PM – 1 Peppermint Cocoa Protein Bar & 8 oz glass of water with Orange Fiber
4PM – Vanilla Shake
6PM 1 packet Chicken Soup in 8 oz Water & 8 oz glass of water with Orange Fiber
8PM – Chocolate Shake
My first weigh-in was 412.2 . One week later, the day we began the food change, I weighed in at 413.8 Lbs. It is this number, my highest, that I am determining how much weight I have lost. The program goes with the first weigh-in, which again was one week before the actual food change.
Today’s Weight is…
Difference Between This Week & Last Week’s 385.2 Lbs is: 12.8 lbs.
Total Pounds Lost from My Highest Weight of 413.8 is: 41.4 lbs.
I have been taking sleeping aids…. and I have been getting better sleep than I have in years! My body doesn’t hurt as much anymore as I lay in a single position for a time, and I think I am even breathing better! I cannot wait for this evening’s weigh-in. I may have too high of expectation though. The bottom line is that I am feeling much better, moving better, and my legs have gone down in their swelling dramatically… as you can view in my “today” photos below. I have typed earlier in this journey that I have been having issues with wanting food lately. I have found that it is the evening time that I am greatly challenged with that issue, and I am lucky enough to have my wife to remind me to stay the course. My wife is amazing, and I am blessed with her. She took our zone Sister Missionaries out to lunch a few days ago, telling me later that she was feeling guilty for going without me. I let her know that it is better at this time that I don’t throw temptation in the mix just yet, as I am getting used to not eating foods… especially like the pizza they had that day. As I type this I find myself daydreaming of that pizza…. not good. It is obvious I will need to stay away from foods for a while longer until my mind is strong enough to handle it. I cannot believe I addicted myself to foods. It is unreal to me.. yet real. One of my team mates in this program is a young woman (a writer), and she told us last week that she was behind a closed door in her home, folding laundry. Her husband ordered a pizza, then went into the room she was in to eat it. She is a strong willed woman and was able to say to him.. “bring it on!”. For her, having food in front of her is making her stronger… which is great! I look forward to that day when I am able to be that strong. My wife came home yesterday and she had taken our granddaughter out to lunch at Wendy’s, the went and got Yogurt afterwards. I saw the remaining nuggets sitting on the counter that my Granddaughter didn’t eat… and I must admit… and felt jealousy just for a brief moment. Very strange to feel that about food. Of course I type this as part of my own journey… that others may identify if possible, and know they are not alone. I felt badly for having such a feeling… as nobody should have to curb, or even hide their own food intake just for me. Again I feel lucky that my wife would do such a thing for me. In my survival of this, I want to make up with her, and my family those lost years of activities that my being overweight stopped from happening. Anyway… enough sappiness. LOL.
Below are my photo from this morning, followed by photos of the items I speak about in my zero calorie intake from time to time.
Here is the Waldon Farms Honey BBQ Sauce and Chocolate Topping I have been using from time to time for taste, which has been satisfying me greatly.
Here are the zero calorie diet sodas I have chosen to keep on hand. I really don’t have these much. The diet Lemon Lime actually has a lower sodium content that the rest.
Behind them is the zero calorie snow cone syrup that I tried once as of yet. I also purchased Orange Cream, Root Beer, and Tigers Blood gallon zero calorie syrups to use.
The Equate Fiber is what my wife purchased for me before the program began. It tastes like drinking gritty orange liquid, and is working well for me.
The notes on my food boxes are a great daily reminder that I am not the only one in this journey… and boost my strength every time I grab from them.
I had mentioned earlier in my journal that my wife went and purchased some shake meal replacements in order to join me once in a while. Once this program is compete, being that these are nearly the same calorie count, and I am told quite good by my wife, I may stay on this liquid dietary living, replacing a few of my daily meals with one of these.
She purchased these from Sam’s Club.
Today’s FitBit Stats:
4329 Steps for 2.01 Miles and 3355 Calories burned. 9 Floors Climbed.
Last Night’s Sleep Recorded This Morning:
8 hour 14min. Asleep last night, Awake X2, Restless X21
Food Schedule:
10AM – Chocolate Shake & 8 oz glass of water with Orange Fiber
12PM – Vanilla Shake
2PM – 1 Cinnamon Protein Bar & 8 oz glass of water with Orange Fiber
4PM – Chocolate Shake
6PM 1 packet Tomato Soup in 8 oz Water & 8 oz glass of water with Orange Fiber
8PM – Vanilla Shake
I woke to legs skinnier than they have been in a few years!! The RN re-wrapped my legs yesterday to find my left leg without blisters any longer, and my right leg’s ulcer all better! She recommended I go a little while longer with the wraps to prevent swelling. As I stated, I woke this morning to MUCH skinnier legs! I am very grateful and find myself tearing up as I type this! I am anxious for tomorrow’s weigh in. It is nearly 4PM.. and time for my afternoon shake. I must say that I am having severe issues today in my want of actual food. I cannot stop thinking of it… even while not in front of the TV. This has been the worst day I have had in this feeling. I find myself rationalizing how it would be OK to eat something. I am hungry this time for sure… and fighting every moment with myself, telling myself what I am doing this for, and how my life will change. Also that I will be able to eat food again, just in much smaller portion that I had been. Still… the pull of the dark side is strong…. very strong.
Today’s FitBit Stats:
3061 Steps for 1.42 Miles and 3140 Calories burned. 2 Floors Climbed.
Last Night’s Sleep Recorded This Morning:
7 hour 31min. Asleep last night, Awake X3, Restless X14
Food Schedule:
10AM – Vanilla Shake & 8 oz glass of water with Orange Fiber
12PM – Chocolate Shake
2PM – 1 Peppermint Cocoa Protein Bar & 8 oz glass of water with Orange Fiber
4PM – Vanilla Shake
6PM 1 packet Tomato Soup in 8 oz Water & 8 oz glass of water with Orange Fiber
7PM – 2 Tbsn of ZERO Calorie Waldon Farms Honey BBQ Sauce (AWESOME!!)
8PM – Chocolate Shake
I find my evenings thinking of food greatly, but now diminishing slightly from the days before. It is hard for me for whatever reason, to view a burger or steak.. pizza… on TV in the evening when we watch. There is an extreme instant I feel the real “need” to have it, and then my brain tags that as “want” instead, then I file it away. Addiction? I believe so. Withdrawal is happening.. and I must endure. As a in between snack, just for some savory to enter my day aside from the soups, I tried the Waldon Farms ZERO Calorie Honey BBQ sauce. Though like water, it was AWESOME! I found it a great assistance in my ‘want’ of food, allowing me a taste I associated and enjoyed with the foods I used to eat. It was indeed giving me the satisfaction. It makes me wonder if this is a good thing, or something that will take me down a wrong path. I will inquire with my team mates this Thursday evening at the weight in. Hopefully they are already reading this… LOL.
Today’s FitBit Stats:
3659 Steps for 1.7 Miles and 3204 Calories burned. 6 Floors Climbed.
Last Night’s Sleep Recorded This Morning:
7 hour 11min. Asleep last night, Awake X2, Restless X15
Food Schedule:
10AM – Chocolate Shake & 8 oz glass of water with Orange Fiber
12PM – Vanilla Shake
2PM – 1 Cinnamon Protein Bar & 8 oz glass of water with Orange Fiber
4PM – Chocolate Shake
6PM 1 packet Chicken Soup in 8 oz Water & 8 oz glass of water with Orange Fiber
7PM – 2 Tbsn of ZERO Calorie Waldon Farms Honey BBQ Sauce (AWESOME!!)
8PM – Vanilla Shake
Calorie Intake for the day = 970
**
In the Weight Loss Program… We have split into teams of 4 and have been challenged to have a combined walking distance that would expand across the United States as we walk each week. This is the first results provided by Norma Vail… our counsel in all of this. I think I am in Team 3, and as such… I am that teams hindrance currently, until I am able to walk better. This will change soon.
My night’s sleep, while plentiful, was broken up with my anxiety over my leg wraps. Oh yeah… did I mention I have issues with casts and things like that? I am that guy that cuts the cast off with 24 hours. Around 4AM I woke with a great amount of itchiness on my leg, inside the wraps where I cannot get to. I nearly cut the wraps off. Instead… I managed to go to my desk and get some work done, taking my mind off of it. That stated, at least I was not feeling hungry! lol. Maybe the leg thing is a blessing in disguise? Hmmmmm. Yesterday I got through the Church hours with ease, while bringing what I needed with me. Once again I found great uplifting in Him, and from those of my Church and Family that are truly supporting what I am doing in this program. Today I endeavor to walk more… and I am feeling quite good! This is a feeling I have not had in some time! I am finding myself excited to get to the scale, even though I realize that last week’s number was higher than what I should normally see. Another thing I mentioned in our class, which is an awesome group of people by the way. As I mentioned, find myself thinking of, and planning my return to food, planning what I may eat that is low on calorie, yet high on taste. The Waldon Farms ZERO calorie sauces we ordered were delivered and I will taste them today. We ordered Ranch dressing, and Honey BBQ sauces, plus their chocolate ice cream topping, which is surprisingly thick for a ZERO calorie treat. Of course I tried the chocolate sauce right out of the box! LOL. It isn’t bad, and has that diet after taste that fake sugars have. I guess it will do however. Zero calories with some favorable taste is great. I still find myself having issue even looking at food, wanting it as soon as I see it. TV ads are awful, and still pound upon me greatly in the little time we do watch TV. I also find myself longing to know how my fellow program mates are doing. This is a great journey to truly know oneself, and everyone in the program are amazing. I look forward to the day when we may have a combined participant weight loss number to show. That will be awesome.
Today’s FitBit Stats:
2360 Steps for 1.1 Miles and 3021 Calories burned. 3 Floors Climbed.
Last Night’s Sleep Recorded This Morning:
7 hour 5 min. Asleep last night, Awake X2, Restless X18
Food Schedule:
10AM – Vanilla Shake & 8 oz glass of water with Orange Fiber
12PM – Chocolate Shake
2PM – 1 Peppermint Cocoa Protein Bar & 8 oz glass of water with Orange Fiber
4PM – Vanilla Shake
6PM 1 packet Chicken Soup in 8 oz Water & 8 oz glass of water with Orange Fiber
8PM – Chocolate Shake
Today I am heading to church, which for us is about 7 hours of activity outside my home. I will be taking some of my drinks and cinnamon bar with me. Even with my sleep time increasing (from 3-4 hours a night to 7), last night’s rest seemed a bit choppy, and my body ached much. I lay on my side to sleep, and lately have only been able to sleep on my left side. Sleeping on my right side for whatever reason feels awkward, and becomes painful on that entire side, much quicker than laying on my left. Still, I feel decently rested. I still keep my feet elevated at night to relieve the swelling in my legs… so maybe that is causing a bit of the change. That stated, my legs are looking much better. Not entirely back to normal, and still wrapped, but I can see that my left leg is only half the size it was just a week ago. I had noted a few days ago how going to the bathroom was becoming an easier task. It continues to become so. TMI? Yes indeed, but information to note still. Yesterday evening I was getting great cravings for food, then in bed, I found myself hungering greatly. Actual hunger pains this time. Usually when I am feeling I want to eat, I check myself with my actual hunger level, asking myself if I am truly hungry, or just have the munchies. Up until this time, true hunger has not been present. Perhaps the amount of water taken in last night washed away the last shake I had? Possibly lessening it’s usual fill? I wonder. All in all…. I am feeling quite blessed… and with another new day toward a new life, I feel confident. In my trying to do what is right, I know that He is uplifting me in all of this… and that it could be much, much worse. My amazing wife and family continue to give me great support, being mindful of things they would like to do that deal with food during my time of craving. Soon I will get used to what I am doing in this program, and I will be able to join them all once again at food functions. Albeit with my own ability to resist. It is well. I am grateful in all things.
Today’s FitBit Stats:
3937 Steps for 1.83 Miles and 3280 Calories burned.
Last Night’s Sleep Recorded This Morning:
7 hour 51 min. Asleep last night, Awake X4, Restless X21
Food Schedule:
10AM – Vanilla Shake & 8 oz glass of water with Orange Fiber
12PM – Chocolate Shake
2PM – 1 Cinnamon Protein Bar & 8 oz glass of water with Orange Fiber
4PM – Vanilla Shake
6PM 1 packet Tomato Soup in 8 oz Water & 8 oz glass of water with Orange Fiber
8PM – Chocolate Shake
I wake today thinking of all the great possibilities ahead of me. With this weight loss, I will be able to move freely again, possibly without pain… and drag… which has plagued me now for a few years. I have felt what I imagine a person of 90 years or above feels like. This is sad being that I am not yet 50 years of age. Today, I feel younger! And I full of hope and determination! I have missed this in myself.
I am still battling seeing or smelling food. As I spoke of yesterday, doing so makes me feel like I must eat.. the true pattern of addiction. In keeping myself busy…. actively busy, I keep my mind from wandering toward the food I simply want, and not need.
Today’s FitBit Stats:
2794 Steps for 1.3 Miles and 3064 Calories burned. 3 Floors Climbed.
Last Night’s Sleep Recorded This Morning:
7 hour 33 min. Asleep last night, Awake X2, Restless X7
Food Schedule:
10AM – Chocolate Shake & 8 oz glass of water with Orange Fiber
12PM – Vanilla Shake
2PM – 1 Peppermint Cocoa Protein Bar & 8 oz glass of water with Orange Fiber
4PM – Chocolate Shake
6PM 1 packet Chicken Soup in 8 oz Water & 8 oz glass of water with Orange Fiber
7PM – 1 12oz Diet Lemon Lime Soda with Waldon Farms 0 calorie chocolate syrup over 24oz crushed ice
8PM – Vanilla Shake
